....s.i.m.p.l.i.c.i.t.y....

dreams_to_live @ 2006-04-13T20:23:00

2006-04-14T00:24:33Z

VOTE FOR MY DESIGN. PUUUHLLLEASE.

dreams_to_live @ 2006-01-01T02:21:00

2006-01-01T07:22:43Z

you kids should check out this journal.
otherwise it was a good show and im glad i went etc.

happy new year blah blah.

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-30T00:41:00

2005-12-30T05:41:17Z

going to combichrsit bitches.
:D

see you on the flip side?

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-29T11:48:00

2005-12-29T16:49:19Z

I'm an engine driver
on a long run,
on a long run.
Would I were beside her:
she's a long one,
such a long one.

And if you don't love me, let me go.
And if you don't love me, let me go.

I'm a county lineman
on the high line,
on the high line.
So will be my grandson:
there are powerlines
in our bloodlines.

And if you don't love me, let me go.
And if you don't love me, let me go.

And I am a writer,
writer of fictions,
I am the heart that you call home.
And I've written pages upon pages
trying to rid you from my bones,
my bones, my bones.

I'm a money-lender:
I have fortunes
upon fortunes.
Take my hand for tender.
I am tortured,
ever tortured.

And if you don't love me, let me go.
And if you don't love me, let me go.

And I am a writer,
writer of fictions,
I am the heart that you call home.
And I've written pages upon pages
trying to rid you from my bones.
I am writer,
I am all that you have hoped of.
And I've written pages upon pages
trying to rid you from my bones,
my bones, my bones.

And if you don't love me, let me go.
And if you don't love me, let me go.

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-28T23:22:00

2005-12-29T04:24:20Z

i find it interesting that out year begins in winter
the time of ends, death, hibernation and general decay
but leads to blossoming and life?

is it a giant metaphor that perhaps in order for there to be beauty there must first be a lack thereof?

maybe i should just shut up?

odd man out

2005-12-27T03:41:51Z

so im fucking miserable right now.

so i really don't like victor.
i hate to say it but he bugs me out and i find he is kind of mean sometimes and he 'accidentally' misplaced my first application etc.

i mean he can be nice sometimes and i feel bad for him sometimes like how super stressed he is.

but mostly today they made me feel like the little kid who shouldnt be there.
it made me want to cry.
it happens sometimes. like a lot.
but they all get together and hang out and talk and then i walk up because i am the only one alone and they dissipate.

ha ha its like fucking middle school all over again.
fucking brilliant.

I love Glenn and Maverick and Nix though, they are always nice to me no matter what.
So are Amber and Jen.

And then my register came up short by $30.
fuck.

no wait. double fuck.
how about fuck time 30?

i have no idea how it happened.

i am completely disheartened and don't want to go back to work even tough i loved it.

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-25T21:51:00

2005-12-26T02:53:16Z

Alright
so for those of you who skim/skip most things i write

NEW CELL PHONE

Note: if you get my number dont give it to fucking morgan you douches.

941-735-4455

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-25T14:14:00

2005-12-25T19:39:59Z

lol so my mom had no sleep and was SUPER PSYCHO this christmas.

i kinda felt bad because unless i picked it out, her gifts really sucked.
but im trying to be nice.
but she got all upset since she was like 'if you dont like it you can take it back' and i was like 'okay, i dont like it, ill take it back.'
at which point she got all upset because that was the wrong answer.

she got me pale green sheets.
;___; i miss my hot pink polka dots.
she got me a pair of lowrise, tight bluejeans.
Oo what the fuck...?
she got me this crazy old lady bright teal poncho thingie with stripes of fake fur on it.

and some other stuff i mostly picked out. >>;; which made it no fun.

dad however did what is best and bought me super expensive gifts that make me go :DDDD

he got me 'the rocker' cell phone with camera and itunes.
:D
and a black 30g ipod video with my name engraved on the back.
:D

i got paintbrushes, tights, an MSI shirt(ahem i picked out), red parachute pants, a tshirt with a fake tie on it, some soap stuff + loofa, a watch, a necklace, this weird teal sparkly purse, an ugly teal throw, a weird teal skirt (she got me a fuckload of teal shit lol), uhh a hair ribbon, candy, and i think thats it lol.

ha ha Cellphone's name is Beatrix and the new number is 941-735-4455
ipod is Atticus. who is now fully loaded
>D

my dad lied and told me my ipod was back stocked and he was super sorry etc.
evil evil evil.

kaythnxbye.

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-24T15:17:00

2005-12-24T20:24:04Z

so.
suicide.
yeah.
i woke up at 5:30 so I could be at work at 6.
ha ha ha.
so i could re-arrange displays.

i am so tired
i could cry.

lol oh wait nevermind.

there were so many more assholes about.

i wanted to kill
almost everyone.

el-oh-el.

Stina-dearest:
I would kill for a [camera] remote right now.

Center of the Universe:
i would kill.
period.

my dad and i are going to get srunk tonight and watch johnny depp movies.

YEAH HARDCORE.

i'm in a bad mood.
for more reasons than i care to go into right now.

:D

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-23T21:00:00

2005-12-24T02:01:31Z

Remember when I said I had a life?
I lied.

I dun like it.
:/

i have to be at work at 6am tomorrow.

x__x

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-23T11:39:00

2005-12-23T16:41:07Z

you that song?

I would walk five hundred miles and then five hundred more jsut to be with you

or whatever.
were those guys canadian or something?

they had some fooking weird accents.

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-21T16:51:00

2005-12-21T22:00:44Z

so
at 8:30 they called and asked if i could work.
and i said sure and they made me a little note that says 'EMMA SAVES THE DAY'
and it was me and amber and maverick so it was super fun times 10
and maverick says im in his band now.
:D

and stuff.

and this guy came in today and was like
:O WHERE DID YOU GET A WOLFSHEIM SHIRT!?!?!
and i was like
:D at the concert.

im gauging my ears right now.
:D

i could only find one set of small gauges though so one ear is at 12 and the other 14 lol.
i want to get up to a 4. maybe a 2. i have a 2 if i want it that large since i jsut bought a set of 12, 10,8 and 6,4,2. since they are cheaper as sets. i jsut have to gauge my ears one at a time.

s'okay.
i need a new piercing and this is almost it.
although next pay check i may make my mother take me to get my ears pierced(i was 3 or 4 piercing in each ear lol, i had one done when i was like 6 so now im gauging it.) and possibly an industrial?
one or the other, hopefully an industrial.
:D

<td align="center">
Your celebrity match is Adrian Brody. You like your men passionate and spontaneous.

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Your darkest secret is:	You have at least one spice girls cd

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</table>

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-20T00:24:00

2005-12-20T05:26:22Z

oh em ef ge
;___;
tiiired.
coooold.
sleeeeeeepy.
never-want-to-lift-pants-that-outweigh-me-ever-agaiiiin.

brooke like super works us.
its sad. some people are thinking about quitting because of it ;___;.

i think i work too much.
but i like it.
el-oh-el.

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-18T00:13:00

2005-12-18T05:16:50Z

i love work.
because it gives me a life.
and it gives me people who think im totally rad and are convinced that i am NOT in high school.

but like today
i was super depressed
and for 3 hours straight i was ringing up and i was so busy jsut goofing off i didnt have time to think or be depressed.

and maverick is so awesome. ever thought he was off work he came in dressed like a ninja so he could kick my pirate-y ass.
:D

it was fun.
nix and i chitter chatted
and i got to boss around our Regional Manager who came in because he is supercool.

and ive realized its so much easier to ignore people you dont want to deal with when you are actually bust and dont have time to consciously ignore them.

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-17T13:38:00

2005-12-17T18:41:12Z

i think im losing my mind again.

its rather interesting to see the slow decay of everything i fought so hard to create.

oh well.
c'est la vie.

well if there is such a thing as kharma then i have a whopper of a good spring coming up, right?

>>;;

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-17T09:43:00

2005-12-17T14:46:23Z

It's ninja vs. pirates day at work.

so I will most definatly be dressed like a freaking pirate.

this is why I work at hot topic. because i am asked to dress up like a freaking pirate.

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-15T23:41:00

2005-12-16T04:43:42Z

So I'm tired.
I got kind of fevery tonight when i was working.
and i was sad because Victor totally forgot to ring me up. Lame. But I'll live except i have no presents now so ill have to convince angelica to sneak me off to the mall to buy some.

:D

oh em ef ge.
So Andrew is not only cool, he is super cool.
I thought he had rad hair and music taste but to top it off
he is funny AND an art student.

come on! to be any cooler, you'd have to be me.
:D

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-14T21:07:00

2005-12-15T02:36:20Z

1) Was 2005 a good year for you?
eh. it was so so. every year depreciates in goodness but it had some good moments in and out. so it was half and half.

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
The weeks last summer when Julian and I were super in love and super happy (hiss: no giving me crap on that one, i was so happy)

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
there isn't one lest favorite moment. possibly over the summer when i went into caffeine withdrawl and was really super depressed.
or when my mom almost kicked me out of the house.

4) Where were you when 2005 began?
At angelica's? for the last new years party? i cant quite remember.

5) Who were you with?
Angelica? and Stina? and myself?

6) Where will you be when 2005 ends?
On my Pandora? Being bored/lonely/emo?

7) Who will you be with when 2005 ends?
Buh myself. or talking to Julian. possibly with Stina?

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005?
To be happy. :x

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2006?
pshhh no.

10) Did you fall in love in 2005?
Well it was a progressive thing that carried over from 2004.

11) If yes, with who?
Julian

12) If yes, do they know?
Yes.

14) You regret it?
Not for a minute.

15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2005?
Yes.

16) Did you make any new friends in 2005?
A shiteload matey.

17) Who are your favorite new friends?
I don't have one? Kat and Colton are pretty funny though...

18) What was your favorite month of 2005?
March.

19) Did you travel outside of the US in 2005?
No. ;__;

20) How many different states did you travel to in 2005?
New york. DC. Maryland.

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005?
Um kind of. they werent super close to me but they died.

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
mhmmm. mostly myself.

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005?
Party Monster. Easy dice.

24) What was your favorite song from 2005?
Actually from 2005? hmm. Reptilia?

25) What was your favorite record from 2005?
Most definatly In Your Honour by the Foo Fighters. that was a damn good CD.

26) How many concerts did you see in 2005?
was VnV december or January? >>;; i wont count it.
MSI
The Killers
Nine Inch Nails
is that it? ;__;

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2005?
MSI
but getting to hit that guy at the killers was poodles of fun >B

28) did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005?
ahem maybe. XD
one of these days im gonna beat my cousin at vodka shots.
and then lose my liver
XD

29) did you do a lot of drugs in 2005?
no. i dont think i will ever be able to do drugs with the mental abuse they indirectly inflicted on me this year.

30) How many people did you sleep with in 2005?
~~a billion and now ive got cervical cancer.~~ none lol

31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
Yeah. a Billion things. there isn't one that super stands out.

33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005?
well. my brother told me he didnt eat any cookies and there was chocolate all over his mouth.
that was a bad lie. i could see right through it.
but someone else told me they loved me and i believed them.
lol.

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2005?
HELL YES. thats where i get my kicks for christ sake.

35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2005?
yes. a couple of people.

36) How much money did you spend in 2005?
A lot.

37) What was your proudest moment of 2005?
When was SOCON? that made me proud. getting 1st. but a lot of the art ive done has really made me proud, jsut no one else recognized it. thats okay, i dont want to look at some of it anymore.

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?
being mean to Julian. he may be a douche but he didnt deserve it. but there are a lot of things that embarrassed me.

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change something, what would it be?
No way. I never want to go back and change shit because everything happens for a reason and you learn from it or you forget it.

40) What are your plans for 2006?
Become a better artist. Graduate High school ( accelerated high school program). Work at Hot Topic (i like it...). Make it up to Canada? Be happier than I was in 2005. i like even numbers better. they are more auspicious for me. XD Read more.

that was a depressingly Julian-filled year. S'okay. He was/is a very pivotal point in my life.

haha

Your mind is subconciously thinking about
Tree-hugging.

What are you subconciously thinking about?
brought to you by Quizilla

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-14T18:53:00

2005-12-14T23:54:20Z

;__;
i miss Jen...
she is on maternity leave
and our substitute manager was there
and she is nice and all
but she is making us refold every single t-shirt in the entire store so they will be perfect

and she makes us listen to Queen while we do it since she loooooves queen.

i will die happy if i never hear another queen sign.

ha ha i am sucha flake XD

2005-12-14T02:23:02Z

You taste like a warm pie. Your homemade goodness
brings comfort to those around you. Your light
crust is a bit flaky, but thats what makes you
so loveable.

How do you taste?
brought to you by Quizilla

that still makes me laugh
because i am really flakey.

a fortune cookie told me today: "You will be free of the heavy burdens you have been carrying."
...in bed?

oh glorious fortune cookie! if only you were right!

my brother got one about about a pencil and a long memory so adding 'in bed' to the end made it more than hillarious.

im reading memoirs of a geisha. its very good but im only like 150pgs in (lol in one day XD)

hobos scare me.
im always afraid ill meat one i know.

:x

im still sick, bee tee double-you.
and i work tomorrow.
and thursday.
and im not allowed to miss school
:x
[dies]

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-12T15:41:00

2005-12-12T20:42:30Z

ITS STINA'S BIRTHDAY.
EVERYONE SHOULD GO TELL HER HOW MUCH THEY LOVE HER AND WANT TO HAVE HER BABIES AND SHOWER HER WITH LOVE AND AFFECTION AND ATTENTION.
:3

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-11T20:08:00

2005-12-12T01:10:58Z

middlesex was a really good book.

i would suggest you read it but you probably wouldn't like it.
so i wont bother.

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-10T23:35:00

2005-12-11T04:35:28Z

ha ha ha.
sick.
pain.
ew.

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-10T12:37:00

2005-12-10T17:38:12Z

ha ha
guess who is sick?

guess who also said that yes she could work extra hours this morning and is now working from
2:30-11?

ha ha.

Emma, you silly little thing, you.

someone should buy me some rad el-jay swill for christmas.
:D

dreams_to_live @ 2005-12-09T22:23:00

2005-12-10T03:29:41Z

ha ha
have you ever noticed how much I quit?

sometimes i wonder where my priorities are.

right now they are:
1. me
b) Work
third: Julian/Stina.

ha ha.

everything else i can barely stand.
i haven't even be able to draw lately.

but i have this SUPER GREATEST ROLE I EVER SHOT waiting for me to develop on monday.
:D

but uh

emo, champion.depressed.angry.frustrated. etc.

so stfu.